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Tuesday 22 September 2015

My egg friend

Walt: think about my purpose and reader by planning my recount

I used to like egg races until yesterday. Yesterday we had and egg and spoon race.
Races themselves are difficult but yesterday was the top of the top. Check this out.

Egg races are hard because, you really have to concentrate while doing it. You
will probably get the feeling the spoon is heavy because you are moving alot.

We were in buddies and we each got one egg per group. My buddy Lani drew a face on our egg. While my buddy was coming with the egg I felt extremely nervous. I was waiting at the other side of the park and I thought what if I crack it or drop it. But that wasn't the worst part.

My buddy Lani had given me the egg. While I walked through the park I was scared but I sort of succeeded. I was happy but when I was one foot away from the finish line  my egg fell onto the ground. Luckily my egg never broke or cracked.

I think that next time I will go a bit slower so I can gain control over my egg. To be honest I don’t know if I will ever do that again. If I do it again I will probably think about what I'm going to do before I do it.  
Recount Writing

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Write for my reader
I've tried to think about my reader
My writing shows some awareness of reader because my writing is quite clear and I have tried to interest my reader.
My writing is easy to understand and I have tried to tell the reader what it was like to be there by giving details and my thoughts.
My writing really considers audience as reader because I have kept their interest and made them feel like they know exactly what it was like for me.
Purpose
I tried to meet the purpose
My text goes some way towards meeting the purpose
The message is clear in some parts of the recount.
My text fully meets the purpose.
The message is clear all through the recount.
Introduction
My introduction does not yet clearly orientate or hook in my reader.
My introduction gets some buy in from audience and they can understand what I am going to write about.
My introduction hooks in my reader and it is clear what I am writing about.
My introduction wows my reader!
Paragraph Topics
My paragraphs are confused and don't follow my plan.
I have tried to follow my plan.
Most my paragraphs are about 1 big idea and I have added some detail.
My paragraphs have some complex as well as simple sentences. Post paragraphs give details about 1 big idea.
I have followed the paragraph topic in my plan.
My paragraphs have complex and simple sentences. Paragraphs all give details about 1 big idea.

In this task I learnt to white a whole recount in 45 minutes. I found it a bit difficult at the start but I found it a bit easier during the end.

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